Title: Her Brand of Forgiveness
Spoilers: After season 6 in my own femslash AU
You sit on the couch of the hotel room and try to avoid the piercing stare. You never imagined how much this would hurt. Her or You. You expected to hurt in your guilt. And you expected her to be ...jealous maybe? Cynical, sarcastic, mean, maybe, but the look of betrayal in her eyes as she finally crosses the room and says in a dangerous hiss, "Fuck me" shocks you more than you can say.
"Amy look, I -"
She rolls her eyes and laughs. "You don't get to say 'look'. You don't get to say anything. You were the one who fucked him. It's not like I was gone. I'm here at the same goddamn convention, in the same goddamn hotel and you went to HIM for a comforting screw? He's the one who - you know what? Whatever. I said fuck me!"
You leave your place on the couch and wearily walk over to her. You're worried she may hit you but continue to approach her cause you know you'd deserve it. Your just glad she's talking to you and seems to want to make up...or at least have sex with you before she says goodbye forever.
You reach her and run your hands through her dark hair. All you can do is stare into her eyes and gently caress her skin. You try to pull her into a kiss but she violently jerks her head away from your mouth, giving you a seething glare, and roughly moves your hand from the back of her neck to her breast.
You take her punishment but not her hostility as you could never be hostile with her. For the past year, since the first night you met again on the campaign trail, you've gained a new respect for the sensitivity of this woman. She's honest. Sometimes brutally so, but you know that's cause she'd rather people hate or love her for all of who she is and nothing less. You admire that she has no secrets when you've had so many for so long. There's never been any secrets between the two of you though, which is why you told her about Josh the same night it happened. All you can do is try to plead to her with your eyes and stare as you take off every ounce of her clothing. She watches bitterly as you do the same, and then pull her into a vulnerable hug and begin to nibble her neck. She's rigid but begins to respond to your musings. Embracing, fully naked, standing in the stale hotel room, she claws her short nails down your back and you bite back a wimper.
You lead her to the bed and pull back the covers to lay her down. She's stunning, but more disconnected then you've ever seen her and your heart aches because you know your the cause. The first time you were together had been fun and flirty, and you kissed for an hour after you made each other cum and then began again. Cracking jokes and tickling tender spots. Now you hover above her still form and know it's your turn to make the next move. You know she wants to feel grounded, to feel you want her, despite how much she hates you right now.
You begin to lavish her body with sweetness and try to make the words reach her. "Amy I was upset." You move your tongue from her collar bone to her chest. "It was such a mistake." You circle around her areola and flick her nipple with your tongue. "I was drunk and lonely" She moans as you suck in her other nipple, the whole thing in your mouth as you flick the tiny nub between your teeth faster. "I missed what my life used to be.I missed him." Your hands travel up and down her sides, massaging as your mouth trails her clenched abdomen. "But you're what I want." You nip then suck at her hip bones the way you know she likes as she inhales. "I told you cause I want to be honest. Always. I want you." You nuzzle the slight pooch above her pubic hair and hear her whispered, "Donna"
You climb back up her body letting soft skin caress soft skin until you're inches away from her face. You see a tear trail down her cheek toward the pillow. A tear you never wanted to be the source of. Your chest aches and you want nothing more than to make it all better. You try to lean in to kiss her and she turns her head refusing you.
"I can't." she sniffles. "I want to forgive you but I don't know... I may be able to forget but I... just touch me. Please."
You redouble your efforts determined to make her feel how much you care. Before you were slow and tender, now you are everywhere at once, apologizing, and worshiping. Her eyes are closed, and every once in a while, a tear slips free. When you nip her thigh and mumble "I love you" she roughly grabs blond locks at the back of your head. You continue to tend, massage, and care for her body, mumbling the three little words you've said to her before but never meant as much as now. She grabs your forearms and holds tight as your inches away from her face again and she's looking at you. You try several times to kiss her but she turns away and moans at what your doing to her body, gripping you tighter, leaving marks.
When you enter her with two fingers she bites your shoulder hard and you cry out.
She's moving against you with her pleasure and staring into your eyes trying to get over the pain. One of your hands is cradling her head and the other is lost in her wetness, palm pressing her clit. Now your crying too, as your heart breaks and your mouth is aching to let you touch hers, to accept you and your love. You say it over and over again while kissing her neck and hovering above her lips, "I'm so sorry. I love you. I want you," while your hand brings her closer to orgasm and your eyes bring her closer to forgiveness.
Finally she tilts her mouth the half inch to yours and you cry harder as you taste her forgiveness and see her acceptance in eyes you cannot will yourselves to close, as she cums and traps your fingers with her cunt and your heart with her person.
You kiss for the next hour. Whispering words and tickling tender spots. Until you begin again.